Because I'd had such a hard time finding syllabi in English but written for Japanese students by Japanese professors, I decided to just limit my thesis: I'd decided to only look at the rhetorical differences between ODU and Kitakyushu University syllabi. I thought this would solve my problems and I could finally, /finally/ begin making some kind of forward motion. Baby Pilot is getting a rash on his bom-bom sitting on the hot tarmac.
Well NOPE. That presentation ended in the phrase "we need to see if the data you've gathered is worthy of the questions you're asking of it".
Oh ok. I'll just be here then. Contemplating all the decisions leading up to this point in my life and how alcohol is relatively cheap and readily available. That's cool.
It's not that these things are natural, or valid...of course they are. If they weren't, it wouldn't be so crushing every time I feel like I have to start over. Or change lenses. Or find new questions. Again. If it were arbitrary things that I had to change just to make the grade (while knowing they were malarkey) then it'd be fine.
It's just the most frustrating process ever because it feels like I'm spinning my wheels. Every time I want to move forward, I don't think I know how. When I think I know how, I misstep and have to go back where I was.
It's like red light green light, but instead of game over when you get caught, you just have to go back to where you were standing one full turn ago.
Also, it's like red light green light if you were /really/ shitty at red light green light.
I will add the bibs later. All this ranting has made me feel sad. :(
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